Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Evil Creator Laughs In Your Face: 1.1

The next day started like any other day would. A great conversation with the dirty girl down the road, and an easily lost game of chess. Guess who else showed up! You guessed it.

PABLO! I love me some Pablo. Jessie seems to have takin a liking to him as well. Bout time!
Evil Creator: I knew you would fall head over heels for that sexy cowboy.
Jessie:He's growing on me. I'm still not a fan of the hat though.

Had to post a picture of her perty kitty cat outfit. She always changes right back out of it as soon as she puts it on.

I caught Pablo standing in Jessie's driveway while she was away at work....that's not being creepy or anything.

 As soon as she arrived home, Pablo was on her like sh*t on a stick
Evil Creator: Jessie, it's perfectly normal for a guy to stalk your house when he's interested. I wouldn't worry about the possibly of him killing you in your sleep or anything........
Jessie:Well, maybe he was just out for a walk. That is possible you know.

 Looks to me like our lil Jessie is growing up. Sexy poses and all. She's going to get him hook line and sinker.

                                                             Major cuteness spam


 I forgot to mention that Jessie got a promotion! With that comes this snazzy coffee pot.

We were able to upgrade though. Meager beginnings, but the shack is kind of adorable

 I decided that Jessie and Pablo needed to go on an actual date. They were whisked away to the local library.

 Their first kiss. Seems like Jessie is putting in most of the work here. Very quickly they became boyfriend and girlfriend!

 Yep, still doing most of the work.
During this entire time Pablo just wanted to argue. If Jessie wasn't flirting and massaging, Pablo, would have ruined the whole date. She did a great job though, scoring us a gold medal.

 As soon as the date ended, Jessie went downstairs to work on her programming skill by hacking into the Lathario trust.
Evil Creator: $11 really?! Jessie, what do you think you're going to do with $11?!

 The next morning Pablo stopped over again. We were really getting used to seeing his face on a daily basis.
 Evil Creator: Jessie, I think it's time for you to propose. I've already decided he's the one...now get to it!
Jessie:That's perfectly fine by me, I actually think I'm in love with this guy. Maybe he'll shave his beard off for me.

 Jessie dropped down on one knee and popped the question right then and there. I'm so proud of my lil Jessie bear.

and........he looks scared. WTF he better accept. I'm not interested in starting over.

Thankfully he does. Jessblo......or Pabsie(I guess that mixing of the names crap doesn't work with everyone) are now engaged!!!!

 Due to lack of fundage. They choose to elope in the library since that's where they met and then later, had their first date. The library is special......

Evil Creator:Pablo, get your nasty tongue back in your mouth. smh

They went straight home to break in the marriage. Speaking of marriage....Mr. Pablo ages up to an elder in 12 days. I'm hoping they implement the ability to do an age check soon.

                                                    Insert corny elevator music here

This shot makes me giggle. Pablo needed to work on his charisma skill since he has joined the entertainment career.
Pablo:Why hello you handsome devil! We just did good.....real good.
I also feel I need to add that Pablo has a very deep, James Earl Jones, kind of voice. More on the edge of creepy than sexy though.

The next day, Jessie and Pablo went on another date to the Blue Velvet. Pablo also needed to work on his musical skills.

Pablo went straight to playing the piano(earning him an embarrassed emotion because he sucks). Polka dot chick(horrible with names) doesnt mind at all though.
Pretty sure she's all juiced up

                                                Pretty sure she's all juiced up


The following day, Jessie finds out that she's carrying a hairy nooboo! OMG! So very excited! She                                                  goes straight to Pablo to tell him the great news.

And this is what she got. A very sad and confused looking Pablo.

He then actually became angry over the news. Poor Jessie! 
                                        I really hope Pablo can stop being such a jackwagon.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Jessie Hannon.....Introduction to crazy 1.0

Welcome to my first ever sims 4 legacy. This here is Jessie Hannon. She really is a joy to be around. Jessie, introduce yourself to everyone.
Jessie:Oh, um......hi

Now I feel like I need to explain Jessie's lack of enthusiasm. She(Jessie) isn't really interested in doing a legacy. None of her traits(insane,Genius,Quick Learner,and loves the outdoors) have pointed her in that direction,but I(her evil creator) have decided that I'm going to torture this lil darlin by making her A: get married and produce lots of little chin-lacking children or B: burn to a crisp while cooking a cheap ass box of mac n cheese. I'm kinda hoping to see her engulfed in flames....

 Since this is a legacy Miss Jessie gets to start it off correctly, with basically nothing.
Evil Creator: I at least gave you some books and a plant to stare at, Jessie.

Jessie:Thanks, I couldn't be more pleased with my digs....why me?! WHY ME?!!!!

Evil Creator: Well, I really like your chin. Or lack thereof. You should produce some interesting looking offspring.

Time to get started! Jessie's first need was to get a job. She joined the Tech Guru career without hesitation. 

Jessie:I'm surprised you even let me choose what I wanted to do.
Evil Creator: Keep lipping off like that and I'll change my mind. Are you trying to be difficult?

Before an argument ensued, Jessie was hastily sent off to the library. She needed to play games for 4 hrs in order to get a promotion.
Evil Creator:  I wish I could play games for a promotion........

 She sure did seem to have a good time working on that raise. I had bigger plans for Miss Jessie though. She needed a man, and was showing no interest in finding one. So while she was playing BlickBlock, I decided to go off on my own and do some man hunting for her.

There were absolutely no men around! This is going to be way more difficult than I had imagined. I had searched high and low and then finally low and behold, in the corner playing chess by himself,was this not so hot piece of man meat.
Evil Creator:  Even I'm not that evil. Well, maybe.......nope. Not going there.

While I was away hunting, Jessie was actually being social with someone. I'm pretty sure it was all forced on her, but nonetheless, it still counts. 
Evil Creator: Jessie, Can you please at least choose friends that don't look like they get paid with dollar bills?
Jessie:That's really rude. She's a nice girl. I think we have a lot in common.

Evil Creator:  Well, then I might as well go ahead and tweak your wardrobe. Remember that saying, you are who you associate with?
Jessie:Gulp.....you wouldn't......
 Evil Creator: Oh I would...and will. Have I by chance told you that you have big ears?

 While we were bantering back and forth, a glimmer of orange caught my eye. The perfect specimen I was waiting for. His name, Pablo Storey. with style like I've never seen before. This was the one. Had to be the one. I would make him the one!
Evil Creator: OMG OMG OMG! JESSIE!!!! Get over here and meet this guy!!!!
Jessie:No. I don't dig orange...or cowboys. Sweater wearing cowboys at that and beards are gross.
Evil Creator: Jessie.....don't make me warn you again......

 With that final statement, Jessie, went outside to start up a conversation. Now I know I'm getting ahead of myself but, OMG! Those chinless hairy babies are going to be fantastic! I'm already overjoyed.

Jessie:I really hope that I'm infertile. Just to piss you off.

The conversation really didn't start off on a good note. Pablo, as we found out very quickly, is hot headed. All it took was one slight show of insanity and he blew a gasket.

Which in turn hurt lil miss pouty pants' feeling. We are not quitters though, me and Jessie. We will succeed at winning over this hairy cowboy. The lineage of chinless hairy nooboos is at stake here!

Jessie:Can't we look for someone more pleasant to speak to and look at? Haven't you already ruined my life enough?
Evil Creator: I haven't even started yet, dear Jessie.....

After our failed attempt at becoming friends with Pablo, I sent Jessie home to eat. She really gets rather grumpy when shes hungry. As I sat there watching like Big Brother, I noticed something rather odd. Jessie, was having a conversation with herself......well with someone I couldn't see, at least.

Jessie: I know! He wasn't even able to carry on a conversation about the inner workings of DOS! 
             Yeah, uh..... no. Well I guess I could give it a shot. Maybe you're right. YES! That is a wonderful idea. Right. Ok, see ya tomorrow, Katie.
Evil Creator: What the fudge?!!!

 I left her to herself and her bowl of cereal. This girl is a whack! Tomorrow is a new day, though. Hopefully some of the crazy has worn off by then.